I've crossed deserts and valleys, passed over hardcore rocks and softcore steppes, seen sundowns and moondowns, followed the earth to primitive ends to discover: you're the one for my movie. I've sung slack-jawed out the window, the beatnicking wind riding auteur, to call your name, and you came, you came, to my dirty pool film set. So hello, welcome, make yourself at home! We've hired a professional caterer, even on this low budget, to accommodate your taste for salmon. He's a cheap molecular gastronomist who dishes Coca Cola caviar and cream cheese foam.
The premise of this movie is just you & I fucking eternally. We have hired a team of desperate stagehands and long-living bacterial spores in case we go severely overtime. The film begins with me lounging by my pool and you saunter in after a long, difficult day at the office, wishing aloud for someone to just ravish you for the rest of time. You then look at me in a way that reads to the audience, "Fuck me forever." Beautiful, baby, camera-closeup: look at me that way again and I'll love you as long as I last.
We ran a dummy reel for test audiences who agreed an unending session of lovemaking is a satisfactory way to spend the remainder of our days. They did not sympathize with the blow-up anime doll I so tenderly screwed, and voiced a preference for a buxom blonde babe like yourself. Gorgeous, you are the real thing, and audiences crave you.
Desired eternal scenarios included an ouroborosian 69 at the pyramids of Giza, blowjobs in the Elysian Fields, yogic anal sex in the temples of Tibet, and sisyphean doggystyle up a great hill in which no matter how hard you try you end up falling back upon my rock-hard member. We'll do it all and more — everywhere, forever.
Filming begins as soon as you say "Yes," 'yes' being the password to paradise. You want to think it over? Sure! Take your time. I have all of mine to hear back from you. We'll be here eating deconstructed blini and essence of Caesar salad. Call me, babe. You're my one and only, always. Let's get it on.